Letting Go
“Not my will but yours be done.”
(Luke 22:42)
Introduction
We can let go of many things. We can let go of people, relationships, possessions, patterns, roles, and expectations. We can let go of thoughts, emotions, explanations, and beliefs. We can let go of fear, doubt, pessimism, and cynicism. We can let go of things that we want and things that we don’t want. We can let go of resentment, worry, and regret. We can let go of managing, changing, controlling, and fixing everything around us. We can let go of the old self. We can let go of our plans, our will, and our way. We can let go of the past and, in a way, even the future. Let’s spend some time considering when to let go, how to let go, why letting go is helpful, and what makes it so hard. In what areas are we holding on when we could be letting go?
Sunday December 28
1 Letting Go
2 Holding On
3 Pivoting
Monday December 29
4 Sacrifice
5 Control
6 Resentment
Tuesday December 30
7 Silence
8 Regret
9 Endings
Saturday December 27
4:00 Check-in begins
5:00 Dinner
8:00 Informal fellowship (Swan Ballroom)
10:30 Retire quietly
Sunday December 28
8:00 Breakfast (on your own)
9:30 Announcements
Meditation
PTL 86 O Lord, give me an undivided heart
Prayer
Letting Go
There is a time to plant, to build, to gather, to embrace, and to keep. There is also a time to throw away, a time to give up as lost, a time to refrain from embracing, a time to mourn, a time to tear down, and a time to uproot what is planted. There is even a time to die. These are all unavoidable and inevitable parts of life. Let’s consider the latter activities, those having to do with loss and letting go. The phrase “letting go” is used in a few different ways in the English language. We literally let go of objects by loosening our grip and opening our hand. We let go of thoughts by allowing them to drift away. We let go of a deeply-rooted belief system by seriously considering other perspectives. We brush off unwarranted criticism by letting it go and not taking it to heart. We stop an argument by letting the matter drop. (Or we avoid the argument altogether by not reacting in the first place – by simply letting some things go.) We let people go by allowing them to leave or by accepting that they are gone. (When we force them to leave, such as when they are laid off, we say they have been let go.) Finally, we let go of the old self, laying it aside, putting it off, and replacing it with something new. This task of letting go is necessary. It is also quite practical: we simply cannot hold all the objects, all the people, and all the ideas at the same time for all the days of our lives. We must learn to let some things go.
Exodus 4:27-5:2
Moses, Aaron, elders, Pharaoh, let my people go
Proverbs 17:14
abandon the quarrel before it breaks out
Proverbs 19:11
slow to anger, overlook a transgression
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
there is a time
Isaiah 58:1-14
loose the bonds, let oppressed go free, break every yoke
Isaiah 61:1-3
release to the captives, freedom to prisoners
Ephesians 4:17-5:2
lay aside, be renewed, new self
Colossians 3:8-17
anger, wrath, malice, lay aside old self, put on love, peace
Hebrews 12:1-2
lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily entangles
Selah – Pause
Exhortation
Meditation
PTL 37 Great Shepherd of your people, hear
. . . . . . . . . . . . . intermission . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
10:30 Meditation (3-4 minutes; with music)
Prayer
Holding On
Whenever we hold something – literally or figuratively – we are expending energy. Effort is involved; holding takes work. One would think, then, that letting go would be easy – a relief, a sought-after break, a welcomed reprieve. And yet, so often, letting go is difficult. Why is that? Perhaps it is difficult because holding has become a habit – we are stuck in a comfortable holding pattern as it were. Maybe we highly value every single thing we’re holding and we can’t imagine letting anything go. Or maybe we see no benefits to letting go. Perhaps stability is extremely important to us and holding on provides that stability. In a case like this, holding on looks safe and letting go appears risky. Or maybe we want to let go but we can’t because we just don’t know how. In this last case, we are lacking role models and direction. Let’s spend some time considering why we hold on and how to let go.
Exodus 6:1-5
holding them in bondage
Psalm 139:23-24
search me, O God
Ecclesiastes 7:8-10
patience > haughtiness, don’t say the former days were better
Isaiah 45:18-22
they carry their wooden idol, turn to me and be saved
Isaiah 46:1-4
what you carry is burdensome, a load for the weary, stooped
Jonah 2:8
those who cling to worthless idols forfeit grace
Matthew 11:28-30
come to me, weary and burdened, I will give you rest
Luke 11:44-46
weigh men down with burdens hard to bear
John 19:14-15
“we have no king but Caesar”
Selah — Pause
Exhortation
Meditation
GB 137 Father I ask that all my life
Prayer
Pivoting
We usually have an idea of how our day is going to go. We make plans, expecting things to go a certain way while also factoring in the obvious possibility that our plans won’t work out. Many days go according to plan with a handful of small course corrections. Our days can be affected by the weather, by traffic, by someone’s needs (a coworker or a child), by other people’s schedules, by someone’s random comment, or by our varying mood or energy level. We have become skilled at adapting to change, so much so that there is almost a rhythm to it: plan and pivot, plan and pivot, plan and pivot. But what about those moments when we have a harder time pivoting, when minor irritations look like tremendous obstacles? What happens when our reasonable expectations are unreasonably firm? What about the days when we wake up feeling unyielding and inflexible? What if the stakes are so high that any change at all seems untenable? What if the change itself is so unexpected or so overwhelming that we can barely grasp it? What then? A whole day can go off track. Or an entire year. Accumulate too many changes and it can feel like one’s entire life is off track, as if we have been catapulted into an alternate universe with shockingly unfamiliar terrain – an unexpected and unwanted reality. What then?
Esther 4:1-14
such a time as this
Psalm 28:6-9
my heart trusts in him and I am helped
Psalm 31:14-16
trust in you O Lord, my times are in your hand
Psalm 61:1-4
lead me to the rock that is higher than I
Psalm 62:11-12
pour out your heart before him
Proverbs 16:32
he who rules his spirit is better than he who captures a city
Ecclesiastes 11:4-6
you do not know the path of the wind or the activity of God
Isaiah 45:9-12
does the clay say to the potter, “what are you making?”
Jeremiah 10:23-24
it is not for man to direct his own steps
Matthew 16:24-25
he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me
Luke 17:33
keeps his life will lose it, loses his life will keep it
Colossians 1:9-12
his will for us, steadfastness and patience
James 4:6-10
submit to God, humble yourselves
James 4:13-16
you do not know what your life will be like, if the Lord wills
Selah – Pause
Exhortation
Meditation
PTL 220 Lord of all power I give you my will
GB 295 Hallelujah, sing to Jesus
GB 280 Lift now your voice and sing
Prayer
12:30 Lunch – Free Time
3:00 Gather
Prayer
Group Discussions
GB 135 Dear Lord and Father of mankind
5:00 Evening Meal
7:30 Memorial Service (A Hymn Sing)
8:30 Informal Low-key Activities
(visiting, impromptu singing, board games)
8:45 Teen Devotion (Sandpiper room)
10:30 Retire quietly
Monday December 29
8:00 Breakfast
9:30 Announcements
Meditation
GB 163 Take my life and let it be
Prayer
Sacrifice
The Mosaic law required people to let go. Leave some grain in the field and some grapes on the vine. Sacrifice your animals (the unblemished ones that would have strengthened the flock). Open your hand to the poor. Lend without charging interest. Bring food to the priests. Grant a remission of debts. Let your land lie fallow. Give your workers a day off. Every forty-nine years, level the playing field and redistribute the wealth. What are the lessons here? Something changes inside of us when we let go. What is gained when we are willing to take a loss? What is lost if we refuse to let go?
Leviticus 19:9-10
do not reap to the corners of your field, leave gleanings, grapes
Leviticus 25:1-10
sabbath year, land rests, fifty years, Jubilee, release
Leviticus 25:35-36
countryman, poor, sustain him, do not take usurious interest
Deut 15:1-2
every seven years, remission of debts
Deut 15:7-10
freely open your hand to your poor brother
Deut 24:19-22
harvesting, beating your olive tree, gathering grapes
Psalm 40:1-8
I delight to do your will
Proverbs 3:9
honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits
Amos 8:4-6
trampling the needy, cheating with dishonest scales, selling chaff
Luke 22:39-44
remove this cup from me, not my will but yours be done
John 10:11-19
lays down his life, no one has taken it, own initiative
John 18:11
the cup which the Father has given me, shall I not drink of it
Romans 12:1-3
a living sacrifice, be transformed, renewing of your mind
Galatians 2:20
crucified with Christ, now live by faith, gave himself up for me
Selah – Pause
Exhortation
Meditation
PTL 84 O God beyond all praising
. . . . . . . . . . . . . intermission . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
10:30 Meditation (3-4 minutes; with music)
Prayer
Control
There is clarity, intensity, intentionality, and surrender in Jesus’s words, “Not my will but yours be done.” There is also simplicity: this is between Jesus and his Father. In our own lives, there is less clarity. In any given moment, competing wills swirl around us like gusts of wind on a blustery day. There is my will, God’s will, your will, and the competing wills of others close to us. There is also my will for your life – and your will for my life. And there are my thoughts about God’s will for your life – and your thoughts about God’s will for my life. What happens when these thoughts and wills conflict? When there are opposing wills, I might be tempted to start micro-managing your life and dictating your actions. This is a form of control. It is especially common in families and in tight-knit communities that have high ideals and a shared vision, because we care about each other, and we think we know what is best for each other. This type of thinking seems okay, but it is actually a problem, because we are elevating our will above someone else’s will, which is the opposite of humility. Thankfully, we can look to Jesus for a solution. Jesus cared very much, he had very high ideals, and he also had a tremendous amount of power. And yet he did not try to control people. He invited them to join him, but he did not drag, beg, push, pull, or coerce. Let’s spend some time considering how to dampen our impulse to fix, change, manage, and control.
Proverbs 26:17
taking a dog by the ears, meddling with strife not belonging to him
Micah 6:8
walk humbly
Matthew 6:6-13
Mary, costly perfume, Judas, “Why this waste?”
Matthew 7:1-5
speck in your brother’s eye
Matthew 13: 24-30
wheat, tares
Matthew 23:1-12
heavy burdens, laying them on men’s shoulders
Luke 10:38-42
“Tell my sister to help me.”
Luke 13:34-35
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, I wanted to gather you, you would not have it
John 21:20-22
“What about him?”
Ephesians 4:1-3
walk in humility, showing tolerance for one another in love
Philippians 2:12-13
work out your own salvation, it is God who is at work in you
Colossians 2:13-16
no one to act as your judge, food or drink or a festival
1 Thess 5:12-23
live in peace, be patient with everyone
Selah – Pause
Exhortation
Meditation
PTL 40 He has shown you, O man, what is good
Prayer
Resentment
What is resentment? Resentment is a mixture of anger and hurt that has been stored up over an extended period of time. It always starts with some sort of initial harm – real or perceived, slight or severe. If the issue is not resolved, we begin the mental habits of replaying, ruminating, stewing, mulling over, judging, justifying, disparaging, distancing and, eventually, even despising. If the resentment is particularly intense, it can be all-consuming, overtaking us and overshadowing us until we become a marred and embittered version of ourselves. If we get to this point, the resentment almost always feels warranted. Likely, it is. And yet, do we really want to live out the rest of our lives in response to past harms? Is there not a different way to live? A better way? Are we not being offered a freedom in Christ that invites us to live in newness of life? How, then, do we escape the bondage of entrenched resentment? How do we let go of resentments that have become so meaningful to us that they are now part of our very identity? We start by admitting that we are holding on. There is a reason why we talk about “holding” a grudge or “harboring” a resentment. Similarly, thoughts “lodge” in our mind and anger “resides” in our hearts. By holding space, offering lodging, and creating a safe harbor for resentments, we end up creating our own misery. Do we want to be stirred up to love and good works – or not? Do we want to be transformed by the renewing of our minds – or not? Do we want to walk in newness of life – or not? If yes, then let’s make some room for new, better thoughts by clearing out the old, stored-up resentments.
Genesis 45:2-8
Joseph, it was not you who sent me here but God
Leviticus 19:15-18
not slander, not hate, not bear a grudge, love your neighbor
Job 5:2
resentment kills a fool
Psalm 73:21-22
embittered, senseless, ignorant, like a beast
Proverbs 10:12
hatred stirs up strife, love covers all transgressions
Proverbs 18:19
a brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city
Proverbs 26:20-24
contention, strife, whisperer, lays up deceit in his heart
Ecclesiastes 7:9
anger resides in the bosom of fools
Ecclesiastes 7:21-22
do not pay attention to what people say, you have cursed others
Jeremiah 4:14
how long shall your thoughts lodge within you
Matthew 6:43-47
love your enemies
John 11:38-44
Lazarus, unbind him and let him go
Romans 12:9-21
do not be overcome by evil, overcome evil with good
James 2:12-13
judged by law of liberty, mercy triumphs over judgment
James 3:13-16
bitterness in your heart, wisdom is gentle and full of mercy
1 Peter 2:1-3
put aside all malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, slander
Selah – Pause
Exhortation
Meditation
PTL 121 What a friend we have in Jesus
GB 296 Hark! Ten thousand, thousand voices
PTL 140 At the name of Jesus
Prayer
Polar Plunge
(meet on the beach right after the morning program)
12:30 Lunch – Free Time
3:00 Gather
Prayer
Group Discussions
PTL 21 Come to me
5:00 Evening Meal
7:30 Spiritual Practices: Meditation
8:30 Informal Low-key Activities
(visiting, impromptu singing, board games)
8:45 Teen Devotion (Sandpiper room)
10:30 Retire quietly
Tuesday December 30
8:30 Breakfast
9:30 Announcements – Dismiss the children
Meditation (3-4 minutes; with music)
PTL 217 Lord Jesus I have promised
Prayer
Silence
In an attempt to make sense of the world around us, our minds construct an endless supply of thoughts. We notice, expect, explain, and remember. We summarize, judge, reflect, and surmise. We think and we think and we think, all the while assuming that our thoughts are accurate and correct. Meanwhile, many of our thoughts are ill-informed, due mostly to our innate inability to know all things. Lacking omniscience, we formulate incomplete explanations for complex behaviours. And then we make decisions based on our own limited understanding. What if we were to acknowledge that our perspective is limited? What if we really lean into this idea that we see through a glass, darkly? Perhaps, then, we could heed the words of Habakkuk: “The Lord is in his holy temple. Let all the earth be silent before him.” We could allow our thoughts to come and go – like clouds or smoke or wind or breath – without holding onto them and without holding them in such high regard. We could appreciate the quiet spaces between thoughts and maybe learn to find rest within the pauses – selah. If we were to do this, we would begin to see that silence is part of humility – and that letting go is part of silence.
Job 38:1-7
darkens counsel w/ words w/out knowledge, where were you
Psalm 39:5
every man at his best is a mere breath — selah
Proverbs 11:12
one who despises lacks sense, man of understanding is silent
Proverbs 17:27-28
restrain your words, a fool who keeps silent is considered wise
Ecclesiastes 5:1-2
do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought
Habakkuk 2:18-20
Lord is in his holy temple, let all the earth be silent before him
Mark 1:35
early morning, Jesus left the house, went to a secluded place
Mark 4:35-39
fierce gale, waves, “Hush, be still”
James 1:26
no rein on his tongue, deceives himself, religion is worthless
1 Thess 4:11-12
lead a quiet life, attend to your own business
Selah – Pause
Exhortation
Meditation
GB 202 Fierce was the billow wild | “Peace! It is I”
. . . . . . . .. . . . . intermission . . . . . . . . . . . . .
10:30 Meditation (3-4 minutes; with music)
Prayer
Regret
What exactly is regret? Regret involves being upset about our own past behavior. Sometimes we missed an opportunity. Other times we made reasonable choices that led to disappointing ends. Or maybe we didn’t live up to our ideals. Whatever the cause, we find ourselves looking back wondering, “What if I had done that differently? If only I could go back in time, I would change some things.” These types of regrets are unpleasant, especially if they cause us to devalue parts of our current life. There is another form of regret, though, one that is even harder to bear. In this case, we experience intense remorse because we have hurt someone. This type of regret might be appropriate; it is also agonizing. There is never any relief because, wherever we turn, we cannot escape our past. What do we do with these regrets? Do we carry the heavy weight of our past actions every day for the rest of our lives? Or are we allowed to lay these burdens down? What if we have tried to let them go and we simply can’t? Maybe we are waiting for someone to forgive us first. What if they never do? Never-ending regret cannot be the solution. It is neither helpful nor biblical. It creates a constricted life, one that is haunted by shame. This type of regret chokes the word, blocks grace, stifles inner joy, messes up relationships, and makes effective leadership nearly impossible. So what is the solution? Maybe it is time to lay that burden down.
Psalm 32:1-7
blessed, forgiven, confess, hiding place
Psalm 38:1-4
rebuke me not in your wrath, my iniquities weigh too much
Psalm 51:1-17
wash me, purify me, make me hear joy, renew me, restore me,
sustain me, deliver me, broken and contrite
Psalm 55:22
cast your burden upon the Lord
Psalm 91:1-4
dwell in the shelter of the Most High, refuge, fortress
Psalm 130:1-8
there is forgiveness with you
Proverbs 4:23-25
look directly ahead, straight in front of you
Proverbs 17:22
cheerful heart, good medicine, broken spirit dries up the bones
Proverbs 28:13-14
concealing transgressions, confess and forsake, find compassion
Proverbs 29:25
fear of man is a snare
Isaiah 12:1-6
anger is turned away, trust, draw water from springs of salvation
Romans 6:1-4
buried with him through baptism, walk in newness of life
Colossians 1:13-14
rescued from darkness, transferred to the kingdom of his son
Selah — Pause
Exhortation
Meditation
PTL 165 For the joys and for the sorrows
Prayer
Endings
Every time we choose to let go, we experience an ending. And every time we encounter a change or an ending, we can let go willingly – or we can try to hold on to something that simply cannot be held. Seen in this light, letting go is a never-ending spiritual practice of coming to terms with ending after ending after ending. The writer of Ecclesiastes picks up on this theme. He tells us that everything around us is fleeting and temporary. It all ends. Trying to hold on to it is like trying to grasp something transitory like smoke or wind or breath – a vain and meaningless activity. There is another way to look at endings. In a way, faith is about picking an ultimate ending. We have thrown in our lot with people who have come (and gone) before us. We have placed our bets on the possibility that all of this ends on a good note, not with a bang or a whimper but with justice and with peace. That is an ending worth waiting for. We will conclude with the words of the Psalmist: “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the LORD.”
Genesis 3:17-19
dust thou are and unto dust thou shall return
Psalm 27:13-14
would have despaired, goodness of the Lord, land of the living
Psalm 68:19-20
blessed be the Lord who daily bears our burdens
Ecclesiastes 1:1-11
generations come/go, sun rises/sets, wind swirls, rivers flow
Ecclesiastes 8:8
no man has authority over the day of death
Ecclesiastes 12:1-8
dust returns to the earth, spirit returns to God, all is breath
Isaiah 25:6-9
swallow up death for all time, wipe away tears
Isaiah 40:6-8
all flesh is grass, grass withers, flower fades, word stands forever
John 20:38-41
Joseph of Arimathea, Nicodemus, tomb
Colossians 3:1-3
set your mind on things above, you have died
James 4:13-16
a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away
Selah – Pause
Exhortation
Meditation
GB 116 Praise, my soul, the King of Heaven
GB 291 Crown him with many crowns
GB 290 All hail the power of Jesus’ name
Prayer
12:30 Lunch – Free Time
3:00 Gather
Prayer
Group Discussions
PTL 250 Quiet my mind, Lord
5:00 Evening Meal
7:30 Testimonials: Stories, Reflections, Memories
GB 415 The day thou gavest, Lord, is ended
GB 406 Abide with me
8:30 Informal Low-key Activities (visiting, impromptu singing, board games)
8:45 Teen Devotion (Sandpiper room)
10:30 Retire quietly
Questions and Conversation Starters
Do you have any thoughts related to the readings, talks, or hymns?
Letting Go
At the end of the program, there is a list of people who let go. This list might be useful for your group discussions.
Consider the process of letting go. It can be a gentle process or a forceful, abrupt action. What are some other descriptors?
Does God let go? When? Why? Did Jesus let go?
We can let go of many things. We can let go of people, relationships, possessions, patterns, roles, and expectations. We can let go of thoughts, emotions, explanations, and beliefs. We can let go of fear, doubt, pessimism, and cynicism. We can let go of things that we want and things that we don’t want. We can let go of resentment, worry, and regret. We can let go of managing, changing, controlling, and fixing everything around us. We can let go of the old self. We can let go of our plans, our will, and our way. We can let go of the past and, in a way, even the future.
We do not set aside the old self all at once. Transformation is an on-going, continual process. “Keep letting yourselves be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom 12:2, The Complete Jewish Bible).
Holding On
At the end of the program, there is a list of people who held on – to their own detriment. This list might be useful for your group discussions.
How do we decide when to hold on and when to let go?
When do people usually resist letting go?
What happens to us when we hold on to things that weigh us down?
Clutter is a thing. Do you hold on to things that you no longer need or want? Do you have a de-cluttering process?
Pivoting
What is it like to be around someone who will not give up their will? What is it like for people to be around you when you will not give up your will?
People vary in their ability to adapt to change. How adaptable are you? What conditions make you more adaptable? Less adaptable?
What if Cain had yielded to God’s will? What if Jesus hadn’t?
Sacrifice
When we let go, we give something up. What is lost? What is gained?
Jesus aligns his will with God’s will in the garden of Gethsemane. How does he do this? What is his step-by-step process? Start at the beginning of the account when he leaves the other apostles and walks away with only Peter, James, and John. What are the lessons?
What are the benefits of generosity?
The rich young ruler went away sad and grieving after Jesus told him to sell all he had and give it to the poor (Mk 10). This word grieving suggests intense distress. It is used to describe Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane on the night of his betrayal (Mt 26). The rich young ruler was really struggling here. Can we relate? How?
Control
How comfortable are you with your own free will? With other people’s free will? With the idea of free will, in general?
When we are strong (exerting control), we are weak (rigid, not adaptable, not able to handle reality). When we are weak (not exerting our will), we are strong (adjusting to reality instead of wanting reality to adjust to us).
Jesus knew exactly what people needed. We do not. Would you have sent a blind man away, telling him to find his way to a pool of water? Would you have let Lazarus die? Let Nicodemus just slip away? Made Jairus wait? Probably not. So what makes us think we know what is best for the people around us now?
Control is often motivated by love and worry. Why is it so hard to watch people struggle? What happens when we care too little? What happens when we care too much?
How do you respond when someone tells you what to do? Tries to change you? Attempts to micromanage your life?
If it were up to Judas, Mary would not have anointed Jesus with costly perfume. If it were up to Naomi, Ruth would have stayed in Moab. If it were up to Peter, Jesus would not have been crucified. What would have been lost if you’d always had your way?
Where are the lines between leadership and bossiness? Concern and meddling? Help and control? Persuasion and manipulation?
Control creates a hierarchy — elevating us and undermining the other person. It robs people of the dignity to make their own choices — and their own mistakes.
God saves. We do not.
Resentment
What are the benefits of resentment? What do we gain by remaining resentful?
Sometimes people of faith have a hard time admitting they have any resentments.
How did Jesus handle injustice and harm?
Joseph’s brothers derailed his entire life, yet he did not choose resentment. What was Joseph’s process?
Anger can cause much damage if it is not handled properly.
What if we are on the receiving end of resentment? How do we respond? Are we able to withstand the discomfort? Does the other person’s resentment ruin our day? Our life?
Love keeps no record of wrongs (1Co 13). How do we accomplish this when there are, in fact, wrongs?
Sometimes forgiveness takes a very long time. How do you know that you have forgiven someone? Are we obligated to forgive everyone? What if part of us wants to forgive while another part wants to hold a grudge? What do we do with these competing parts?
Silence
What happens when we assume that all our thoughts are correct?
How busy is your mind?
The program talks about letting go of our explanations. We can disengage from other thoughts as well – those of the inner critic, the perfectionistic task master, the incessant worrier, the sullen coveter, the cynical scoffer, and the lofty judge.
Do you make time for silence in your daily life? If so, how? If not, why not?
Regret
Remorse is an appropriate responses if we have hurt or harmed someone. If we manage it correctly, it can facilitate healing and reconciliation.
At what point does remorse turn into debilitating regret?
David and Paul caused a great deal of pain in the lives of those around them. They both write as if they have been freed from the burdens of their past. How do we become that free?
Have you ever wanted someone to suffer under the weight of their own regret?
We can receive grace now. We don’t have to wait.
What is your working definition of the gospel? What do you think of this one? 1) Failure is expected (that is why we have a savior). 2) There is always enough grace. 3) We can begin again at any moment (God is a God of second chances). 4) Our worst moments do not define us. 5) We are still worthy of love and connection, even after all we have said or done.
The past is in the past.
Endings
In late December we usually focus on the new year. What if we were to focus, instead, on ending the old year? What would that look like? What could that accomplish?
Endings can provide meaning.
Endings bring grief. In grief, we meander from disbelief to anger to sorrow – getting lost, getting stuck, turning back, and moving on as we slowly come to terms with our new reality. Letting go is a slow, messy, protracted process that permanently alters the landscape of our heart.
Who doesn’t love a good literary ending? Who doesn’t appreciate a solid finale in a musical score? (Those are rhetorical questions.)
If our hands are clenched in fists holding on to the past, they are not open to receive the present.
List as many types of endings as you can.
Do trees let go of their leaves? Or do leaves let go of their trees?
Why did Jesus spend three days in the tomb? What was the purpose? What was the lesson? His resurrection could have been instantaneous.
One day we will each encounter our final ending. We will let go of life itself. How can we prepare for that day?
We don’t want to let go of everything. That borders on nihilism. When all is said and done, what do we hold on to? What are you holding on to?
People Who Let Go
(to their own benefit)
Abraham leaves his home and changes the course of history. He lets go of Lot. He is wiling to lose Isaac. Isaac is willing to lose his own life. Rebekah leaves her family – and they let her go. Isaac gives the blessing to Jacob – unwittingly. Jacob lets go of the angel — only after he is blessed. Esau somehow manages to drop his resentment towards Jacob (“To see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably” Gen 33:10). Judah lets go of self-righteousness indignation when Tamar confronts him (“She is more righteous than I” Gen 38:26). Jacob lets Benjamin go to Egypt (“As for me, if I am bereaved, I am bereaved” Gen 43:14). Judah is willing to lay down his life for Benjamin. Joseph lets go of his resentment towards his brothers, which is amazing (Gen 45:4-8; Gen 50:19-21). Jacob leaves Canaan for Egypt. Time after time, Joseph lets himself weep (“Joseph hurried out for he was deeply stirred over his brother, and he sought a place to weep” Gen 43:30; “Then he fell on his brother Benjamin's neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck” Gen 45:14; “As soon as Jacob appeared before him, Joseph fell on his neck and wept on his neck a long time” Gen 46:29). Pharaoh lets Joseph and his brothers go bury Jacob in Canaan (Gen 50). Shiphrah and Puah let the baby boys live (Ex 1). Moses’ mother Jochebed is willing to lose her infant son – in order to keep him alive (Ex 2). Moses leaves his life to go serve God. The Israelites leave Egypt. Moses restructures the judicial system based on advice from his gentile father-in-law Jethro (“You will surely wear out, both yourself and these people who are with you for the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone” Ex 19:18,24). When it was time to build the tabernacle, the people did not hold back; they generously gave more than enough (Ex 36:1-7). On the Passover, the Israelites let go of a lamb. During First Fruits, the people bring the first of all their produce, giving it to the priests. At the Feast of Trumpets, they stop work, letting go of their to-do lists, their work schedule, and their profits. On the Day of Atonement, the people humble themselves, letting go of the idea that they can somehow save themselves. At the Feast of Booths the people leave their homes, letting of their comfort and their routines. Rahab trusts, let’s go of control, ties a cord of scarlet in the window, and waits to be saved. Joshua lets the people choose for themselves whom they will serve (“But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” Josh 24). Jael strategically lets go of honesty when she invites Sisera into her tent to die (“Turn aside, my master, turn aside to me! Do not be afraid” Jdg 4:18). Gideon lets go of idols, destroying the alter to Baal and the Asherah pole. He literally lets go of 31,700 fighting men – so that he is left with only 300 (Jdg 7:3-7). Then Gideon foregoes power (“I will not rule over you, nor shall my son rule over you; the LORD shall rule over you” Jdg 8:22-23). A woman from Thebez quite literally drops a millstone from the roof of a tower, crushing Abimelech (Jdg 9:50-56). Samson willingly loses his own life as he brings down the house of the Philistines (Jdg 16:28-30). Elimelech and Naomi leave Bethlehem for Moab when there is no longer any bread in “the house of bread”. Naomi is willing to let go of Ruth and Orpah. Ruth leaves her homeland. Boaz tells his servants to leave extra grain in the field for Ruth (Ru 2:16). Hannah lets Samuel go. Eli hears bad news from Samuel and accepts God’s will (“It is the LORD; let Him do what seems good to Him” 1 Sam 3:18). Jonathan does not pick up his father’s grudge against David (1 Sam 19). David’s parents leave their home to hide in Moab when Saul is chasing David (1 Sam 22). Jonathan is willing to give the kingship to David (1 Sam 23:17). David spares Saul’s life, letting him go twice (1 Sam 24, 26). Nabal offends David; Abigail convinces David to let it go (1 Sam 25). David writes about letting go of Jonathan (2 Sam 1). David flees from Absalom and accepts God’s (“Let God do to me as seems good to Him” 2 Sam 15:26). David does not retaliate when he is cursed by Shimei (2 Sam 16:10-12). Shobi, Machir, and Barzillai give David beds, dishes, and food (2 Sam 17). Solomon gives tens of thousands of oxen and sheep to dedicate the house of the LORD (1 Ki 8). The Queen of Sheba gives Solomon gold and spices and precious stones (1 Ki 9). Rehoboam pivots, dropping his plans to attack Jeroboam, when he hears the word of God (1 Ki 12). King Asa puts away idols and removes his mother as queen mother (1 Ki 15). Elijah leaves, going to the brook Cherith and then to Zarephath (1 Ki 17). The widow gives Elijah bread even though she is running out of flour and oil (1 Ki 17). Elijah stays in the cave, letting the wind, the earthquake, and the fire pass by (1 Ki 19). Elisha leaves his father and mother to follow Elijah (1 Ki 19). The widow’s neighbors give her vessels in which to pour oil (2 Ki 4). The Shunammite woman gives Elisha food and lodging (2 Ki 4). The king of Aram lets Naaman go to Israel to be cured of leprosy (2 Ki 5). After some persuading, Naaman lays aside his indignation and washes in the Jordan (2 Ki 5). Elisha does not kill the band of Arameans, opting instead to feed them and let them go home (2 Ki 6). Hezekiah gets rid of the high places, the Asherah, and the bronze serpent (2 Ki 18). Manasseh eventually removes the foreign gods and idols (2 Chron 33). Josiah clears out the the temple (2 Ki 23). Cyrus sends out a proclamation: “Let the people go up to Jerusalem” (Ez 1). Cyrus gives back thousands of pieces of gold and silver which had been taken from the house of the LORD by Nebuchadnezzar (Ez 1). The exiles leave Persia (Ez 2). King Artaxerxes lets Nehemiah go to Jerusalem (Neh 2). Nehemiah goes (Neh 2). Nehemiah throws Tobiah’s stuff out of the temple (Neh 13). Esther risks her life and accepts God’s will (“If I perish, I perish” Est 4). Job diminishes his reasoning and his explanations (“I have declared that which I did not understand” Job 42). After all is said and done, Job is willing to pray for Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, which is remarkable (Job 42). Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego are willing to accept God’s will (“If it be, God will deliver us. If not, we are not going to worship that image” Dan 3:17-18, paraphrase). The sailors cast Jonah overboard (Jonah 1). God lets go of control by letting Mary and Joseph raise Jesus. Mary lets go of her plans for a normal life (Lk 1). Joseph pivots when an angel tells him to take Mary as his wife (Mt 1). John the Baptist willingly decreases (Jn 3:30). The people turn away from their sins, coming to the Jordan River to be baptized by John the Baptist (Mk 1). Simon, Andrew, James, and John leave their livelihood – and their lives – in order to follow Jesus (Mt 4). The Samaritan woman at the well lets go of her beliefs and assumptions (Jn 4). Jesus lets go of self-reliance (he does not use his power to feed himself Mt 4). He lets go of the need to test God’s love (he does not endanger himself in order to be rescued Mt 4). He forgoes the opportunity to seize power (he does not take the kingdoms of the world Mt 4). Simon Peter sets aside his will and lets down the nets (Lk 5). The boy gives away his lunch – five loaves and two fish (Jn 6). Jesus spends the whole night in prayer, deciding who will and who will NOT be chosen as apostles (Lk 6). Jesus lets Jesus wants God’s will: “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done” (Mt 6). Jesus leaves his disciples, withdrawing to the mountain by himself (Jn 6). Many disciples leave and Jesus lets them all go (Jn 6:66). Jesus keeps going even though his family does not understand (“For not even his own brothers were believing him “ John 7:5). A division occurs in the crowd because of him — and Jesus doesn’t try to fix it (Jn 7:43). Jesus left Bethlehem, Egypt, and Nazareth. He visits and leaves places like Caesarea Philippi, Cana, Capernaum, the River Jordan, the country of the Gerasenes, Bethany, Jerusalem, and Emmaus. If a town does not receive them, the disciples are supposed to simply leave, wiping the dust off their feet (Lk 10). The man in the parable who is beaten, lying half-dead by the side of the road, lets go of any prejudice and allows the Samaritan – the stranger – to help him (Lk 10). Jesus lets Mary sit at his feet, instead of making her help her disgruntled sister (Lk 10). Jesus looses the bonds, breaks the yokes, and releases the people. The father in the parable lets his younger son leave (Lk 15). Jesus says he came to bring division, not peace (Lk 12). Jesus does not force people to come to him for comfort (“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem… how often I wanted to gather your children as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not have it” Lk 13). In the parable of the banquet, the master does not force his invitation upon unwilling guests (Lk 14). The master in the parable cancels the servant’s debt (Mt 18). The tax collector humbles himself (“God, be merciful to me, a sinner” Lk 18). Jesus lets Lazarus die (Jn 11). Lazarus’s friends and family unbind him and let him go (Jn 11). The owner lets the apostles untie and take his colt (Lk 19). Jesus pays the two drachma tax (Mt 17) and tells the people to give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s (Lk 20). Out of her poverty, a widow gives two small copper coins (Mk 12). Simon Peter changes his mind and lets Jesus wash his feet (Jn 13). During the last supper, Jesus lets Judas go (“What you do, do quickly” John 13:27). In the garden, Jesus walks away from eight of the apostles and then the other three (Mk 14). When Judas approaches Jesus in the garden, Jesus does not retaliate, responding with only a question (“Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?” Lk 22). Jesus accepts God’s will (“Put the sword into the sheath; the cup which the Father has given me, shall I not drink it?” Jn 18). He allows people to arrest him, mock him, and beat him (Mt 27). On the cross, Jesus asks God to release the people: “Father forgive them; they know not what they do” (Lk 23). At the end, Jesus lets go of his own life (“And he bowed his head and gave up his spirit” Jn 19:30). He gives himself to God (“Into your hands, I commit my spirit” Lk 23:46; Ps 31:5a). Joseph of Arimathea loses his status as a secret disciple when he asks Pilate for Jesus’ body (Jn 19:38) and Nicodemus is right there with him preparing Jesus’ body for burial (Jn 19:38). They lay Jesus in the new tomb, but death could not hold him (Acts 2:24). John sees the empty tomb and believes – letting go of his prior beliefs (Jn 20:9). Jesus tells Peter to stop focusing on John (“If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you?” Jn 21). Gamaliel encourages the council to keep an open mind (Acts 6). They take his advice and let Peter and the apostles go (after flogging them Acts 6). Paul does a complete 180 when Jesus speaks to him on the road to Damascus (Acts 9). The angel releases Peter from prison in the middle of the night (Acts 12). Barnabas separates from Paul over a disagreement about Mark (Acts 15:36-40). After an earthquake, the prison lets go of Paul and Silas and the other prisoners (Acts 16:25-26). Lydia and her household as well as and the Philippian jailer and his household let go of their former understanding (Acts 16). Paul is ready to accept God’s will when he goes to Jerusalem (“I am ready not only to be bound, but even to die for the name of the Lord Jesus” Acts 21:13). During a violent storm, the sailors jettison first the cargo and then the ship’s tackle and then the food (Acts 27:14-19, 38). The soldiers cut the ropes of the boat so the sailors cannot escape (Acts 27:30-32). On Malta, Paul shakes off a viper and suffers no harm (Acts 28:5). Paul tells the Corinthians to forgive and comfort someone so that the person does not become overwhelmed by excessive sorrow (2 Co 2:7).
People Who Hold On
or Force their Will
(to their own detriment)
The Bible is full of tragedy that could have been avoided if someone had been willing to let go. Eve holds the fruit. Cain holds a grudge. Lot’s wife cannot leave. Sarai keeps treating Hagar harshly, causing family turmoil. Abraham holds on to this fear that he is in danger because of Sarah’s beauty. Given a choice over stew or his birthright, Esau chooses the stew. Together, Rebekah and Jacob grasp for the family blessing – and end up losing each other. Jacob holds on to favoritism, affecting his family for generations. Laban wants to hold on to his daughters – as if he they are his property. Joseph’s brothers can’t let go of their jealousy (Gen 37:11). Later, his brothers can’t let go of guilt, blame, regret, and fear (Gen 42:21-22; Gen 50:15-19). In Moses’ day, Pharaoh refuses to let the people go, holding them in bondage. The Israelites cling to their complaints in the wilderness. Ten of the spies hold on to fear when they see the land. The Israelites hold on to Baal (“They did not abandon their practices or their stubborn ways” Josh 2:11,19). Gideon makes a gold ephod that becames a snare to him and his household (Jdg 8:24-27). Delilah will not let the matter drop; she “presses him daily” until Samson is “annoyed to death” (Jdg 16:16). The Israelites want a king, even after Samuel explains the downside (1 Sam 8). Saul holds a grudge against David (1 Sam 18:8-9). Asahel chases Abner until Abner turns and kills him – even though Abner repeatedly tells him to turn aside (2 Sam 2). Later Joab kills Abner to avenge Asahel (2 Sam 4). Uzzah dies when he takes hold of the ark (H270 to grasp, take hold, take possession) (2 Sam 6-7). David takes Bathsheba (2 Sam 11). Joab holds to David’s orders and has Uriah killed. Amnon takes Tamar (2 Sam 13). Absalom bears a reasonable grudge (2 Same 13). He tries to grasp the kingdom (2 Sam 15). Ahithophel holds to the conspiracy against David (2 Sam 15). Joab rebukes David for not letting Absalom go (“O my son Absalom, my son, my son. Would I had died instead of you” 2 Sam 18:33-19:4). Solomon forms an alliance with Egypt by marrying Pharaoh’s daughter (1 Ki 3). Solomon “holds fast in love” to wives who turn his heart away from God (1 Ki 11:2-4). Rehoboam holds to the harsh counsel of his peers over the wisdom of his lenient elders (1 Ki 12:8-14). Jeroboam convinces the Israelites to worship idols (“It is too much for you to go up to Jerusalem; behold your gods that brought up from Egypt” 1 Ki 12:26-29). Ahab sticks with Baal (1Ki 16). At Mount Carmel Elijah accuses the Israelites of wavering between God and Baal — they won’t let go and they won’t hold on (1 Ki 18). Ahab gets stuck in a sullen mood when he can’t have Naboth’s land for a palace vegetable garden (1 Ki 21). Elisha lets Naaman go home but Gehazi chases him down and gets payment for the healing (2 Ki 5). Ahab, Jehoram, Jehu, Jehoahaz, Jehoash, Jeroboam, Zechariah, Menahem, Pekahiah, and Pekah all cling to the sins of Jeroboam (2 Ki). Haman is completely filled with rage when Mordecai does not bow down (Est 3). The parents of the blind man hold on to their fear of the synagogue leaders (Jn 9). The servant in the parable won’t cancel his fellow servant’s debt (Mt 18). The rich man in the parable builds bigger barns (Lk 12). The pharisee in the parable exalts himself (“God, I thank you that I am not like other people” Lk 18). The man in the parable keeps his talent, hiding it away (Mt 25). The chief priests and the Pharisees give orders to seize Jesus after he raises Lazarus (Jn 11). The rulers cling to approval (“They love the approval of men rather than the approval of God” Jn 12). Pilate holds Jesus and releases Barabbas, changing history forever (Lk23). Ananias and Sapphira sell their property and keep some of the money for themselves while pretending to give everything to the apostles (Acts 5).